In 1979, the classic
best-seller Son-Rise was made into an award-winning NBC television
special, which has been viewed by 300 million people worldwide.
Now, Son-Rise: The Miracle Continues presents an expanded and
updated journal of Barry and Samahria Kaufman''s successful effort
to reach their once "unreachable" autistic child. Part one
documents Raun Kaufman''s astonishing development from a lifeless,
autistic, retarded child into a highly verbal, lovable youngster
with no traces of his former condition. Part two details Raun''s
extraordinary progress from the age of four into young adulthood.
Part three shares moving accounts of five families that
successfully used the Son-Rise Program to reach their own special
children. An awe-inspiring reminder that love moves mountains. A
must for any parent, teacher or student of personal growth. Do you
ever wonder why things turn out the way they do? I do. Every so
often, I ask myself why an event in my life occurred, if maybe it
had some sort of purpose or reason. I realize that, in the larger
scheme of things, I can never really know why events happen or if
there is some sort of grand plan for us all. I do believe, though,
that each event offers us a brand new chance to change ourselves
and our lives, whether the change is slight or sweeping. Even if we
can''t know whether there is some great cosmic reason for the
workings of the world, we can still give events meaning with what
we do with them. When I was diagnosed as autistic and also
severely mentally retarded, with a below-thirty IQ, my parents
were given ample opportunity to treat the event as a tragedy. The
whole world saw autism as hopeless and encouraged my parents to see
it that way too. Sometimes it dawns on me how close I came to
spending my life encapsulated inside my own head, lacking the tools
to interact with the rest of the world. My autism could have been
just another event without meaning or explanation. What turned it
around was not a string of events, but rather a wildly different
and unheard of perspective: Refusing to accept the age-old view of
autism as a terrible catastrophe, my parents came up with the
radical idea that my autism was a chance - a great opportunity, in
fact - to try to reach a child lost behind a thick, hazy cloud. It
was a chance to make greatness out of something commonly viewed as
unquestionably sad and tragic. This perspective, combined with a
passionate relentlessness on the part of my parents, enabled me to
undergo a spectacular metamorphosis and emerge from the shell of my
autism without a trace of my former condition. When I think about
what my parents did with my autism, I see what a tremendous role we
all play in each event that confronts us. It was not my recovery
that made the event of my autism amazing and meaningful though,
needless to say, I''m very happy with the outcome; it was my
parents'' open-minded attitude in the face of my condition and their
desire to find meaning in it regardless of how I turned out in the
end. You don''t have to "cure" your special child in order for his
or her specialness to have meaning and value. The value lies not in
"results" but in how you treat your situation and your child. The
question of what is and is not possible has forever been bouncing
around in my head. I have definitely had a few times in my life
when I chose not to bother attempting to accomplish something
because I thought, "That''s impossible." At other times, I catch
myself thinking this way and realize that it is precisely this type
of thinking that could have landed me in an institution for the
rest of my life. If there is one thing my life has taught me, it is
that anything is possible. I don''t mean this idea in the
superficial way it is often used. I mean to say that nothing is
beyond our reach if we honestly believe that it is within our power
to reach it. I''ve found that I, rather than any external situation,
am my own biggest limiter. One line that parents of special
children hear more than anyone else is the "that''s impossible"
line. The "experts" showered my parents with prognoses like
"hopeless", "irreversible", "unreachable" and "incurable". All my
parents had to do was believe these "experts" not a difficult
task, since these doctors had plenty of evidence to back their
opinions, and my journey would have been over. Instead, my parents
defied the professionals, disbelieved their prognoses, and grabbed
hold of the belief that they could at least try to do the
impossible, reach the unreachable, cure the incurable. "But your
son has a devastating, lifelong condition. He can never come out of
it" the doctors scolded. "So what?" my parents would reply. "We''re
going to try, anyway, and see what happens." The word expert is the
misnomer of the century. The pessimistic outlook that the "experts"
show many parents need not be taken seriously. Whatever you''ve been
told about the severity of your child''s condition, don''t buy it.
You and your child can do a whole lot more than any "expert" could
possibly know. No matter how much evidence a doctor can show you,
it will never be enough to prove that something is impossible. You
want to know something? Evidence is a sham. It can always be defied
or demolished. If you really believe in evidence, use it to prove
the possible instead of the impossible. I''m on the debating team
at my college, and I''ve seen how evidence can be used to back up
either side of an issue. Many, especially the "experts," might
claim that I am advocating "false hope." "False hope"? What do they
mean by "false hope"? How in the world can anyone put these two
words together? When I think about my successful academic career,
my fierce tennis matches, my love of Stephen King novels., the
fantasy and science fiction short stories I''ve written, my
admittance to the university of my choice, my best friends, my
girlfriend, and my complete and ecstatic involvement with life, it
occurs to me that each and every one of these is the product of
"false hope." Nothing can ever be bad or wrong about hope. Not
ever. I advocate giving yourself and those around you as large a
dose of it as possible. So, I bet you''re wondering what this
product of "false hope" is doing with his life lately. Well, I''m
enjoying college I''m in my sophomore year more than any other
period of my life. I''m having a thoroughly terrific time choosing
my own courses, living away from home, eating school food yum!. I
take courses like philosophy, political science, theater arts, and
biology. I took calculus during my freshman year. Definitely not my
calling. In addition to enjoying the social and academic scenes at
college, I''m also on the debating team, I take ballroom dancing,
I''m in a coed fraternity, and I''m in a number of political groups.
I recently cast my first presidential vote after working for my
candidate''s campaign. I won''t say who I voted for, but you can
probably guess. Here are the answers and only the answers to the
questions I get asked most often: No, I can''t stand "Beverly Hills
90210." Yeah, I''m an excellent driver. Actually, I''m majoring in
biomedical ethics. Oh, my career after college? I haven''t the
foggiest clue. No, I only spin plates during really boring physics
lectures. Sorry, I''m busy this Friday night. Speaking of questions
and answers, I have talked with parents of special children from
many different countries and throughout the US, and I''ve had the
chance to answer scores of their questions and ask some questions
of my own, as well. They all want the best for their child; they
all have a strong desire to help their child in any way they can.
Many of these families also see their own or their child''s
situation as horrific. In addition, they want to be "realistic" and
not pretend that their child''s situation or potential is better
than it actually is. It makes perfect sense to me that parents
would think this way, but there are other ways of looking at things
that might be more productive as well as more fun.
關於作者：
Barry Neil Kaufman is
the best-selling author of more than nine books, including
Happiness is a Choice. He is the founder-director of The Option
Institute, a world-renowned learning center which offers programs
for families with special children, as well as for adults wishing
to become happier and more effective. With more than two million
copies in print, his books have been required reading at 280
colleges and universities. He is a popular speaker in the United
States and abroad and appears frequently in national and local
media.
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