《每天读点英文幽默故事全集》选材广泛，囊括了经典的英文幽默故事和现代幽默故事，并根据内容将幽默故事归类：家庭幽默、两性幽默、天真童趣、名人幽默、职场幽默、医患幽默、军营幽默、校园幽默、宗教幽默、酒吧宾馆、律师法庭、警察交通、文字幽默、动物幽默、综合幽默。这些幽默故事都是编者精挑细选的结果：有长有短，有难有易，部分幽默故事可以作为英语学习者的口语、语音、语调练习材料，一些故事还不失诙谐的反映了社会现实，例如Why
Is Lawyer Brain so Much
More?这篇故事反映了律师在美国人心目中的恶劣形象——嗜血的鲨鱼，一闻到血腥味就自动靠过来，借着打官司来赚钱，并且能颠倒是非、混淆黑白、草菅人命，为了赚钱不择手段。在那些滑稽、诙谐、令人捧腹的语言背后，充满耐人寻味的丰富内涵，闪烁着心灵与智慧的光辉，展示了乐观、自信、积极的人生态度，具有一种神奇的力量。同时，为了帮助广大读者更好的理解这些幽默故事，所有故事都采用英汉对照的方式，翻译精彩，在忠实原文的基础上，将原文的笑料、“包袱”无一遗漏地呈现在读者眼前；对于故事中的生词、词组都逐一作了注释，使读者在理解幽默故事的同时，扩大词汇量，开阔视野，感受不同的文化，让读者不仅知其一也知其二，例如Skip
to Lose
Weight这篇幽默故事中，skip这个单词多次出现，有的指“跳跃”，有的指“略过，省去”，对于skip这个词的不同理解让人开怀大笑。读者通过每天读点英文幽默故事，不仅可以理解异国的文化及幽默，还可以学习生动活泼、富有生活化的语言。
第一部分：两性幽默
1.Her Hubby Has Kept A Mistress In His Office她老公有小蜜，去攀比吧!
2.Mistresses In Restaurant 当老公遇到情人
3.How’s Sex 性生活如何
4.Whose Hubby? 原来不是我老公
5.Running Around With Other Women和别的女人鬼混
6.Who Is His Father？孩子的父亲是谁？
7.A Beautiful,Sexy Young Woman一个漂亮性感的年轻女子
8.I don’t Know Her Very Well Yet我和她不熟
9.Husband’s Typist 丈夫的女打字员
10.The Love Affair 风流事
11.An English Girl 带个英国妞回来
12.Wearing Nothing 一丝不挂
13.Would You Remarry? 那你会再婚吗？
14.Man In The Closet壁橱里的情夫
15.A Lover 情人
16.He Asked Me First他先向我主动索吻了
17.A Great System浴缸里的太太
18.A Doctor’s Affair With His Nurse医生与护士的婚外情
19.The Beautiful Girl? 漂亮女孩？
20.Who Is Her Husband? 谁是她丈夫？
21.Why Were You Watching Me In My Bath? 你为什么偷窥我洗澡？
22.Man In The Fridge躲藏在冰箱里的偷情人
23.Strip Off And Streak老妇裸奔
24.My Wife Was Cheating On Me老婆有外遇
25.Four Floors'' Knocking 裸着去开门
26.He Averaged Two Dates A week他平均每周约两个女人
27.Who Cares 美女借宿
28.Female Fans女影迷们
29.Kiss Buttock亲吻屁股
30.He Isn’t Really Your Dad反正他也不是你亲生爸爸
31.Baked Beans And Putting 吃豆放屁
32.One Of The Ladies Is My Wife,The Other One Is My
Mistress!妻子正与我小蜜在一起
33.Wife’s Bill“美女”的账单
34.Naked 裸体
35.A Magic Blind Man 盲人闻出情人味
36.I Would Rather Commit Adultery我宁愿犯通奸罪
37.I’ll See To The Rest 我来照管美女
38.Dear,I Like To Do What That Bull Is
Doing亲爱的，我真想做那头公牛正在做的事!
39.Husband Was Cheating On Her 当丈夫有婚外情......
40.Your Horse Called 你的“马”来电话啦
41.I’ve Been Having An Affair With Your Best
Friend我和你最好的朋友暧昧上了....
42.Women 女人，让我欢喜让我愁
43.Dancing Party舞会
44.I Am Not Able To Take Care Of Three Wives 三个老婆？
45.You Aren’t My Father你不是我亲生爸爸
46.Notes 便条
47.A Pretty Maid 美丽女仆
48.Better Not My Daughter 还好不是我的女儿
49.I Want Her To Go Nuts 我就是要让她发疯
50.My Days Of Fooling Around With College Girls Are Not
Over我还能和女大学生们厮混
51.A Kiss A Meter一米布料一个吻
52.Questions And Answers 巧问妙答
53.Some Conversations On Married Life 婚姻百态
54.We?re Divorced!我们已经离婚了
55.Husbands Said 丈夫如是说
56.Facts About Women 难懂女人心
57.The Power Of Your Picture 照片给力
第二部分：家庭幽默
1.HE Walks Everywhere HE Goes 耶稣从不开车
2.Coming With You 父子离家
3.Father And Son 父亲和儿子
4.Who’s In Heaven? 谁在天堂？
5.Rejuvenation Pill 返老还童药片
6.They Won’t Let Me Fart 就是不准我放屁
7.Pious Wishes 虔诚心愿
8.Big Game Mishap倒霉的雄狮
9.Role Reversal角色转换
10.A Bargain物美价廉
11.Dating Service 交友服务
12.Perfect Woman 完美女友
13.The Divorce 离婚
14.Till The Last Minute 直至最后一分钟
15.Men’s Club 男士俱乐部
16.The Best Time 最佳时机
17.Your Son Called 你的儿子打电话来了
18.A Change Of Mind 回心转意
19.That Is My Husband 那是我老公
20.To Be A Sensitive Man做一个敏感的人
21.Your Children And My Children Are Whipping Our
Children孩子们在打架
22.A Puzzling Problem 难题
23.But I See Five Donkeys 我看见五头驴
24.It’s For The Funeral 为葬礼准备的
25.Endearing Terms 甜言蜜语
26.The Day Off From Work 丈夫休息在家
27.They Just Had Quintuplets你也想生五胞胎？
28.Quick Fix 权宜之计
29.I Just Lost Two Dollars我只损失两美元
30.Tightwad 吝啬鬼
31.Tell Him To Drop Dead!叫他去死!
32.How Many Vice Presidents副主管多着呢
33.He Made His Own Lunch 他自个儿准备的午饭
34.I Didn’t Do It 我什么也没做
35.You Forget Again!你又忘了!
36.FiftyFifty 五五对半分
37.I Had Him Buried Upside Down!脸朝下葬
38.Flatterer？马屁精？
39.Very Smelly Feet 你的脚真臭
40.A Nice Stone 上好的墓碑
41.Thirty Years Younger Than Me 比我年轻30岁
42.What Are You Going To Do This Evening? 你今天晚上要干什么去？
43.It Was Too Late为时已晚
44.Still A Bum 混世小子
45.Son Wears Father?s Clothes 子穿父装
46.The Scholar’s Logic 学者的逻辑
47.A Letter From Mom 妈妈的来信
48.You Don’t Look Like An Old Lady At All你看起来一点都不像个老妇人
49.The Missing Husband 失踪的丈夫
50.My Wife Makes All Small Decisions小事老婆说了算
51.Try The Hat试帽子
52.Domestic Thief 家贼
53.The Allergy过敏
54.New Suit新套服
55.If I Was In It 我在里面
56.A Stingy Man小气鬼
57.A Honeymoon Couple蜜月夫妇
58.Say Goodbye To Mother?In?Law 与丈母娘道别
59.That’s One! 吁!
60.One Stringed Instrument单弦乐器
61.It’s Unnecessary To See God With A Present见上帝是没必要带礼物
62.A lucky Customer幸运的顾客
63.Cat Hating Husband讨厌猫的丈夫
64.Let Him Worry!烦恼给房东!
65.Say Good Bye To Canadian Winter 拜拜了，该死的加拿大冬天
66.My Wife Doesn’t Lay Eggs 我媳妇可不下蛋
67.A Monkey like Husband 丈夫像猴
68.The Perfect Husband完美丈夫
69.Twins双胞胎
70.A Penny Pincher 守财奴
71.Brave And Brainy 智勇双全
72.I Don’t Want It Either我也不想要了
73.How will I Find My Ring There? 找戒指
74.The Hard Five Minutes 难忍的五分钟
75.A Brand New Scale崭新的体重计
76.The Bum 流浪汉
77.Is The Car Yours? 这车是你的吗？
78.Nothing to Help 帮倒忙
79.Old Habit 江山易改，本性难移
80.A Few Tips小贴士
81.Don’t Try These Techniques At Home在家时不要尝试这些技巧
第三部分：天真童趣
1.Two Cents A Glass 两分一杯
2.Why Do You Let Her Go About Naked？为什么她可以不穿衣服到处乱走？
3.Under The Wagon你爸在哪里？
4.Whose baby is it? 谁的宝宝？
5.A Good Boy 好孩子
6.Drunk老爸喝醉了
7.You Got An F On Sex你的‘性’成绩‘不及格’
8.Excited Remarks 兴奋的话
9.Patty Is Dead 派蒂死了
10.Goldfish埋金鱼
11.Talking On The Telephone 和上帝通电话
12.God Is Missing 上帝哪儿去了
13.A Moron Is A Moron 傻子就是傻子
14.No Word About Ears 决不提耳朵
15.A Trick To Save Money 攒钱小花招
16.Why Are Some Hairs White? 为什么有白头发？
17.They Are Looking For Me 找我呢
18.You Can Be The husband.I Can Be Your Wife你做我老公，我做你老婆
19.Making Others Glad使他人快乐
20.Definitely 屎拉在裤子里啦
21.Jesus Is In The Bathroom耶稣在卫生间里
22.The Audience And The Son观众和儿子
23.A Useful Lesson带儿子去喝酒
24.The Young Archer 年轻的弓箭手
25.List Your Sins列出你的过错
26.One Place Ahead 前进一名
27.The World Is Going To End 世界末日
28.It’s Hard To Tell One From The Other双胞胎难辨
29.You Are Afraid Of Mamma就怕老妈
30.Have His Cap Back 魔法帽子
31.The Consciousness Of Safety 安全意识
32.Piss And Sing 我想唱歌
33.Arithmetic Lesson算数作业
34.The Reason behind It 原来如此
35.Follow One’s Father 效仿老爸
36.A Gentleman 绅士
37.A Holiday from School假期
38.Stupid Orders 愚蠢的命令
39.Violin Lessons小提琴课
40.Letter To The Lord 写给上帝的信
41.How Do You Get Pregnant Then? 妈，你是怎么怀孕的呢？
42.Mom Put Us To Bed This Way Last Night妈妈昨晚让我们穿成这样睡的觉
43.Only One Cake Left 只剩一块蛋糕了
44.Why Does It Rain On The Road Too? 雨为什么也要下在路上呢？
45.Daddy，You Are Taking All The Good Ones 爸爸，你净拣好的吃
46.Little John Buys The Bread.小约翰买面包
47.She Wants To Keep Them她想占有它们
48.How You Work Out That Three Lots Of Two Rabbits Is seven
三组两只兔子加成七只?
49.Where’s My Booger? 我的鼻屎呢？
第四部分：名人幽默
1.Franklin Likes Gambling富兰克林打赌
2.President Reagon And Republicans里根与共和党人
3.Clinton Proposed To Hilary克林顿向希拉里求婚
4.President Anderson And the Devil 安德森总统与魔鬼
5.Clinton'' Tragedy克林顿的“杯具”
6.If You Graduate from Yale,You Become President耶鲁出总统
7.The Queen Almost Gets Back To 1700s 小布什总统的口误
8.Bathe On Behalf Of Me 替霍夫曼洗澡
9.Tent Stolen 福尔摩斯的帐篷被偷
10.Let My Driver Answer It 爱因斯坦与司机
11.Worn Out Overcoat 爱因斯坦的破烂外套
12.Off?the?Cuff Remarks 丘吉尔的即兴妙语
13.Franklin 多才多艺的富兰克林
14.''The Pope Is Never Wrong'' is Not True教皇永无过错？
15.Robert Scholz '' Hot Soup 肖尔兹要的热汤
16.Making up Stories 狄更斯编故事
17.Questions For George Bush 向布什总统提问题
18.Madonna,Britney And Christina 麦当娜等当红歌星
19.Which Is More Powerful 赫鲁晓夫更臭
20.Put Up With Her For Only 15 Minutes 林肯总统的无奈
21.Have No More Room For A Vice President 杰弗逊副总统没有客房住
22.Neither Am I The Vice President奥巴马不适做副总统
23.Clone Another Cheney 克隆一个副总统切尼
24.I Am A Sacrifice To The Terrible Epidemic Now
小布什总统嘴巴染上了口蹄疫
25.It Is A Shoe Size 10 小布什遭鞋袭
26.Wall Street Drank Too Much And Had A Hangover 布什：“华尔街喝高了”
27.Only Child Was Born There 华盛顿：“这里只有一个婴儿出生”
28.Rescue Clinton In The River克林顿河中获救
29.The Pope Himself Drives教皇本人亲自开车
30.One Way Street Wilson 我行我素的威尔逊
31.Candidates In The Air空中的总统候选人
32.What Did He Eat? 牛顿“吃饭”
33.A Story Of Jimmy Durante 杜兰特的单口相声
34.The General Theory Of Relativity爱因斯坦的相对论
35.Change Is Coming奥巴马：改变终会来临
36.A Strange Creature达尔文:奇怪的生物
37.Is the General Expecting You? 将军在等你吗？
38.Fred Allen The Foremost Humorist 弗雷德?艾伦，一位优秀的幽默家
第五部分：职场幽默
1.Business Just Started事业刚起步
2.Pink Suit Sale 粉红外套卖出去了
3.Ask For A Job With The Circus 马戏团的工作
4.The Generous Bosses 对我姐姐慷慨的老板
5.In Three Months'' Time 三个月后再来干
6.Make Him A Conductor让他当乐队指挥
7.Hair Cutting 理发
8.Something Cheaper? 更便宜的
9.The Eager Beaver 工作狂
10.Editor’s Reply 编辑的答复
11.Volunteer Firemen志愿消防员
12.Encore!!返场
13.Parking A Car In A Bank 富翁停车
14.Job Interview 面试回答
15.Five Hundred Times 写上五百遍吧
16.A Real Estate Salesman推销房子
17.The Perplexed Clerk 困惑的店员
18.What If...如果…咋办？
19.Are Blind Pilots Flying? 盲人飞行员？
20.To Have His Hair Cut During Working Hours上班时间去理发
21.Musical Interlude 音乐插曲
22.An Amazing Salesman 不可思议的销售员
23.That’s Your Worry 那是你的事
24.Prepare Three Envelopes 锦囊妙计
25.In Prison VS.At Work 监狱与单位
26.Someone’s Deodorant Isn?t Working谁的除臭剂不管用了？
27.The Correct Answer 最接近正确答案
28.Don’t Eat A Person Who Is Working 别吃干活的人
29.A1 Laundry顶级洗衣店
30.I Haven’t Got A Penny 身无分文
31.It’s An Extra另行收费
32.No Nuisance 省去麻烦
33.Post Haste 紧急邮递
34.That Smells Like Shit闻着像大便啊!
35.They Are Still Damp!床单还潮着哩!
36.A Wise Man?s Advice 金玉良言
37.I Have Done It!我成功了!
38.I Am Not Stupid 我又不傻
39.Genuine Alligator Shoes真正的鳄鱼皮鞋
40.Nonconformist 另类分子
41.Please,Please Drop It!求求你，请放下它!
42.Successfully Or Unsuccessfully 胜任还是不胜任
43.The Wise Manager 聪明的经理
44.Did That Take You An Hour? 这花了你一个小时？
45.Wrong Number拨错号了
46.Anything Works? 什么有用？
47.Worst Waiter Of The Year年度最烂服务员
48.Is There Another Door? 还有其它门吗？
49.How To Answer? 如何回答？
50.Told You So告诉过你了
51.Who’s The Foreman 到底谁才是领班
52.Two Candidates For Political Office两个政府职务候选人
53.Reasons To Stay At Work All Night 成宿加班的理由
第六部分：医患幽默
1.Problem With Gas 医治放屁
2.The Warm Hearted Nurse 热心的护士
3.The Patient Suffered A Severe Relapse病情再度恶化
4.A Phone Call Of A Patient 一位病人的来电
5.Brain Transplant 大脑移植
6.Extract Wisdom Teeth 拔掉智齿
7.Psychiatrist精神病医生
8.Mental Deficiency诊断智力缺陷
9.Your Tongue Needs A Rest舌头也要休息好
10.Mary’s Heroic Act 患者救他人
11.Doctor’s Advice 医生的药方
12.Get The Cat Out First 先把猫弄出来
13.How Many Can Be Discharged 多少人能出院
14.A Brand New Brain 全新大脑
15.No Need To See A Doctor不必求医
16.A Man With Two Badly Burned Ears一个两只耳朵严重烧伤的男人
17.Expectant Fathers 准爸爸们
18.Use A Pencil 用铅笔吧!
19.You’re Going To Die!你快死啦!
20.Dead Men Do Bleed!死人真的流血呀!
21.Crazy But Not Stupid 疯狂但不愚蠢
22.God Will Pay The Bill 上帝付药费
23.Six Months To Live 最后六个月的时光
24.Surgeons 外科医生
25.Confusion 思维混乱
26.Diet At Lunchtime 午餐节食
27.The Face Lift整容
28.Is She Pregnant? 六十三岁老太婆怀孕？
29.We’d Better Perform A Caesarean还是剖腹产吧
30.That Is All She Needs这就是你太太所需要的......
31.It’s Rather Personal 这太隐私了
32.Belly Button 肚脐
33.You Must Be An Expert你一定是位专家!
34.A Newly Qualified Doctor一名新医生
35.A Reason To Live For 活着的理由
36.What The Heck Is Wrong With My Wife?我太太究竟怎么了
37.Poisonous Or Not 中毒没有
38.I’m Watching“ER”我正看《急诊室》哩!
39.Who Is The Patient? 谁是病人？
40.What Are You Doing By The Surgical Instruments?
你在手术器械旁边干什么
41.I’m An Obstetrician 我是个产科医生
42.I’ve Changed My Will Three Times!我的遗嘱已经修改三次了
43.On The Operating Table Awaiting Surgery在手术台上等待接受手术
第七部分：军营幽默
1.Punishment 惩罚
2.A Colonel On A Tour Of Inspection 上校视察
3.Protect Himself 保护自己
4.Woman Army Driver And Sergeant女司机与中士
5.Cover The Shadow With Sand 用沙子遮住影子
6.What’s Your Name? 你叫什么名字，士兵？
7.The Guard and The Smuggler哨兵查走私
8.Captain And His Sister 上尉的“妹妹”
9.I Missed Again 总是脱靶
10.Take his Weapon away from Him 夺走武器
11.That Officer Was Not Popular 该死的长官
12.A Soldier Asked For Marriage小兵请婚嫁
13.Two Soldiers两个士兵
14.Report To The Commander马上去见司令官
15.A Sergeant And A Dope 中士和蠢货
16.Midshipman Sleeps In Class 军校生上课睡觉
17.Two Sailors And A Baby两名水兵和一个娃娃
18.Go Away From The Battle逃兵
19.Officer,My Wife Is Getting Pregnant This
Weekend长官，我妻子这周末准备怀孕
第八部分：校园幽默
1.Unavoidable Tricks 恶作剧
2.What Do They Laugh For? 他们在笑些什么
3.Sleep Over Lectures课上睡觉
4.We Are Here!我们来了!
5.Professor’s Logic 教授逻辑
6.Who Killed Abraham Lincoln 谁暗杀了林肯
7.A Boy’s ABC’s 男孩的基本情况
8.Part Time Job 学生兼职工作
9.Knock It Off,You Idiot!白痴，别敲了!
10.Plagiarism论文抄袭
11.A Girl’s Examination美女参加考试
12.Classmates Play Tricks On Each Other捉弄学友
13.Kidding不是在开玩笑吧？
14.A Skeleton Smoking 骷髅吸烟
15.A Naughty Student 淘气的学生
16.Copy The Notes 抄笔记
17.Cheating On Test考试作弊
18.Whiskey Does You Good威士忌有助身体健康
19.I Am The Goalie我是守门员!
20.Freshmen Versus Seniors 新生和老生
21.Student’s Reaction学生的反应
22.A Lesson On The Blood Circulation血液循环的课
23.You Are Stupid 你太愚蠢了
24.How To Clean The Mirror In The Toilet如何清洗卫生间的镜子
25.I Get A Zero On This Exam？本次考试我得零分？
26.A History Teacher and His Questions历史老师提的问题
27.Who’s The First Man 谁是世界上第一个人
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